Why Love Alone Is Not Enough
Love is necessary but not sufficient when trauma has shaped a partner’s nervous system. Every tool love has given you produces exactly the wrong result when her system is evaluating safety, not intent.
partner
Why Her Reactions Look Like Choices — But Are Not
Her reactions are not choices. They are her nervous system doing exactly what it was built to do — reading the environment for threat and responding before conscious thought has a chance to weigh in.
Regulating Yourself First: Why Your Nervous System Is the Variable You Control
You cannot regulate her nervous system. You can only regulate your own — and in doing so, change the environment her system has to respond to. That is the most active thing you can do.